Wednesday, October 23, 2013
I'm Back
I've been lazy. I've let my life take control of me, if that makes any sense. Its like it has swallowed me up and it's all I can do to just get the bare minimum done.  It may have started when Kyle left, I'm not sure. Maybe it was already happening before that, and him leaving for four months is what pushed me over the edge. Survival mode. Well I'm done with that. I want control back. I want back into the blog world. I want to govern my life.

There are so many ways that I need to grow and improve. Why does change have to be so challenging? Why does it have to feel so impossible?

Being a mother can feel really scary sometimes. I am in charge of shaping these boys. Every thing I do from the way I talk and react teaches them, and shows them things. I am so far from perfect, I can't help but worry about all the things I'm doing to damage them and wreck them. I want them to be great, and I want them to be happy, and good. So much love and yet so much imperfection!!

I don't like coming across as the scatterbrained, leave everything to the last minute, fly by the seat of my pants kind of person.

So, my goal is to take some time out of each day to write a little something on my blog. Doesn't have too be long, or big, or a life update. Just something.

2 comments
Sarahstottle posted @ 1:33 PM

Comments:
Oh man, I so relate to this post - survival mode, letting your life take control! But about your kids, you are not damaging them or wrecking them. they CHOSE you, for your strengths AND weaknesses, exactly for how it would shape them. I really believe that. And you are a beautiful mom, and I see how much your boys love you. And the love you have for them is the most powerful force at work, remember that. I mean, I know I'm not a mom, but I can still say these things!
 
Thanks Amy, that's very kind of you to say, and very uplifting
 
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