Monday, September 20, 2010
A Father Who Loves His Daughter.
This week was hard for me. I felt like I'd been caught up in this mundane world of staying at home with bored kids who will only play if I play with them alllll day, counting down the hours til Kyle gets home from school only to learn that he has homework (naturally) and feeling sooooo bored and lonely (seriously, having adults to talk to really makes a difference), and then waking up and doing it all again the next day. I've been praying and praying for me to find joy and purpose in my life, and ways to keep my children happy and to use the time that I have with my kids to do things that will uplift them. Let's face it, all mothers know that if their kids aren't happy neither are they. It's almost worst than being unhappy yourself. Not to say that my kids have been miserable, but I've really been feeling like I need to find something for Adriel. I've tried looking into a few recreational things, but most things are full and/or cost a lot of money. By the end of the week I was feeling pretty discouraged and alone. I get discouraged easily. I know we've only been here for three weeks (it feels longer in some ways) and that getting settled takes time. I'm impatient. I've never had to do this before. So anyway, I'd been having a lot of pleading conversations with Heavenly Father about how I can feel more like this is my home, and less lonely.

I will say that just being able to go to the gym has been a huge help. It gets us out of the house. I get a break from the kids. They love it. They have a lot of fun playing there. I feel sooooo much better after I'm done too. So there is that.

 Then this happened:

Thursday evening Genevieve called me. She was hoping I could cut her hair the next day because it was her and her husband's anniversary. Of course, I agreed. A friend to play with Adriel, and some adult company is welcome in my home! I didn't get too excited about it though, because I was just giving her a much needed (according to her) haircut, and that was her reason for coming over (this is what I told myself) It's not like she was calling just to hang out. She has a lot going on with her house right now, their kitchen flooded, and now its basically gutted and their dealing with their insurance claim and all the stuff that they need to figure out. It's like her life, plus she has two young kids of her own which is why I haven't bothered her to hang out before.

So she came over. I cut her hair, and styled it. She looked pretty good if I do say so myself, but that's because she's naturally pretty, not me. And we visited. She mentioned off hand about something called joy school for her son Jacob (the one Adriel's age). My ears perked up and I asked what it was. So apparently, her and a few other moms from church in the other ward that we share a building with do it together. It's a preschool program that you teach from your home. The moms all take a turn teaching. So it would be at Genevieve's one week and another mom's the next, etc. She said it was a really good program and that they were actually hoping to find some other mothers who were interested. So she gave me the web link and I looked it up after she left, even though I pretty much knew already that I wanted to do it. Sure, I can have kids over two times a month! Other than paying for the curriculum, which is reasonable, it's free. So I looked it up. The Joy School curriculum is built around joy -- with the philosophy that happy children become strong students and well adjusted adults. Some of the lessons are The joy of the Body, the joy of the earth, the joy of sharing and service...you get the point. I was just so happy that this sort of fell into my lap. I know it wasn't a coincidence, but an answer to my prayers. It'll will give me something to do, and it'll help me get to know other mothers and feel like a part of something. AND I know Adriel will LOVE it. It's all boys too. Good times.

Turns out after all this, that Genevieve happens to be related to Andrea's midwife Marla. And one of the other mothers doing joy school with us, is Marla's daughter in law. Marla has a big "family" dinner at her house every third Sunday. Genevieve thought it would be a good idea to invite us because the other mothers doing joy school were going to be there and she thought it would be good to for me to meet them. When she asked Marla if we could come, Marla was planning on inviting us anyways because she knew that I'm Andrea's sister.

Marla has a big beautiful house out in the country. As soon as she saw me she said "Oh yes, I can see that you're Andrea's sister." Apparently most of her  family has moved away, so for these dinners, she invites new young people in her ward, and other young families with kids. There were a lot of people there, but it didn't feel uncomfortable strangely enough. It was just like one of our family potlucks back home. Lots of people, lots of kids. And Marla is one of those types of people you just feel comfortable around. The style of her house reminds me a bit of grandpa and Rene's old house but bigger. It has a really neat lay out. So, we visited with various people and watched our kids play and eat. Then Marla gathered everyone into her living room for a singing time. Adriel sat on her lap. One of her sons (the only one that lives here I think...) can play the guitar and so he played some songs at people's requests and we sang along, or just enjoyed the music. We had such a nice time, and the kids had a blast. I suppose that I should mention that at one point Adriel and Jacob climbed out a window onto the roof and we couldn't find them when it was time to go. That's the kind of child I have...Luckily everything was ok, but scary! It just felt like a little piece of home to me, and I know that was another gift from Heavenly Father, letting me know I'm loved and being taken care of.

So, it turns out I have a lot to be thankful for. I know that these challenges are good for me, and that I need them to grow... I'm so lucky I have the people at church. If it weren't for church, I probably wouldn't have met anyone yet, and I would be in a much more miserable state than I'm in now. I'm learning things about myself. I need people. I love my little family and I like being at home, but not all the time, all day long. I need to have things to do too.

Other highlights of the week include: Adriel got a new bunk bed, which he loves, and I finally have a dresser for Sloan. It's feeling more and more like home around here. I also got to go to Relief Society here for the first time (thanks to Kyle giving me a hand with Sloan in nursery) and it was wonderful. Just what I needed sooo much. One of those things you don't realize how much you need until you get it. Another blessing from Heavenly Father. He must really love me.

7 comments
Sarahstottle posted @ 8:22 AM

Comments:
I'm glad that your prayers were so amply answered and that you've found something fun for Adriel (where he'll for sure make friends). Amy and I went to a play-group like that before ECS and we LOVED it.
 
that's what i was going to say. mom did joy school for amy and biffer. remember the big fish scene on our wall? i'm pretty sure that was from joy school. that's so awesome that Heavenly Father is watching out for you so well. Sometimes when we're having those pleading prayers we don't know if they're really being heard but then they are answered so completely you know you were.
 
I was going to say along the same lines of 'fubbin and laura about the joy school - only we called it play school. It was a lot of fun, it was unisex though.

I'm glad you're finding the answers to your needs. I'm sure before you know it you'll be all settled in.
 
Ah, Sarah! I love you so much. That is what your post brings out in me - an agony to be so far away from you when I want to hug you so much. I am so glad that you are making some connections. Isn't Marla wonderful?! She is one of my favourite people in the world. What about looking up a homeschooing group? They usually include younger children and when I was there, there were weekly get togethers that were free and lots of fun - people took turns organizing them. Kaetlyn and Eryn still remember making cars that you wear out of cardboard boxes. There are so many community centres in Winnipeg. Have you found the one near you? When I was there, there were really affordable things to do at the community centre. I continue to highly recommend a membership at the Children's Museum - your kids would love it and it will get you out of the house. Have you been to the Forks yet?
 
Thanks Andrea, I could go for a hug from you!! We checked out the Forks last weekend. The children's museum is unfortunately closed until spring 2011! Booo....
 
Oh, right, you did tell me that on the phone! But do check out your community centre. There were lots of preschool things there. I bet Adriel would love a dance class!
 
I'm glad things are working out for you! So nice that there are so many little boys in your ward for your kids to be friends with. The gym was my SANITY in the cold weather climate.
 
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