Saturday, December 14, 2013
It's that time of year again. Exam time. One more week of not really seeing Kyle and then he's all mine for THREE WEEKS!!!! And honestly? What's one week? I'll still see him before bed and that's way better than our edmonton situation. Easy peasy. Not so much for him though. He's feeling a little more anxious than usual because he needs high enough grades to get into the master's program.

And I started writing that on Monday. Now it's Saturday. Moving on...

Laura and I decided to write a story together via text. More like I told Laura we were doing it and I started the story off and naturally, she complied. Here it is.


Once upon a time there was a man and his name was les shwabb
Les Shwabb liked to lick frozen metal poles
There was a satisfaction that came with ripping his tongue off and seeing his taste buds still attached to the metal.
"Time to start fresh!", he'd exclaim bursting with excitement and swishing the blood in his mouth vigorously
On this particularly cold winters day he managed to do it to the star at the top of the Christmas tree that was in the middle of town square when no one was looking.
As he was ripping his tongue from the star, filled with pride that HIS tongue would be on the tree, he lost his balance and began to fall from his perch
He had been so caught up in his feelings of pride that he hadn't noticed that the tree was bending and swaying under his weight
He grasped wildly at the evergreen boughs but they slid easily from his grasp
As he landed the wind was knocked out of him forcing a loud guttural grunt to shoot out of his clenched body
"You shouldn't fart in public", the voice was tiny, squeaky and annoyingly judgemental.
"It wasn't a fart!" He growled breathing heavily from his fall, causing his mustache hair to float upwards about his face
"Sounded like one to me." Squeaked the voice
Since he was so tired from the fall he couldn't be bothered to turn and face the voice so he just lifted his leg and kicked in the general direction that it was coming from with a jerky thrust
Unfortunately, the movement released a foul rotten eggnog smelling fart that he had been suppressing for some time.
It also resulted in knocking over a innocent by stander who had just stopped to admire the Christmas tree when she noticed something strange about the star...
The bystander found herself sharply poked in the ribs,"you shouldn't fart. It's Christmas." accused the voice
She opened her mouth to respond and out fell a hard boiled egg.
Les Shwabb took his opportunity and ate it without permission
After having his taste buds freshly ripped off it tasted de-lishus!
Unfortunately it didn't help the smells already lurking around the christmas tree and the tiny elf who prided himself on fresh piney christmas tree upkeep, had had enough.
"LES SHWABB!!!" His tiny voice bellowed at the top of his lungs
"YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH!!"
Les Shwabb was too enveloped in his own eggyness to notice
This enfuriated the elf even more.
It was then that he noticed something was off putting about the star on the town tree.
His narrowed angry eyes flicked from the star to Les Shwab and back again as the truth slowly dawned on him
Were... Those...TASTEBUDS!?!? On the STAR?!!!!!!!
meanwhile Les Shwab was making googly eyes at the egg laying passerby, serenely unaware of what was about to happen
He licked his lips with his "fresh" tongue and straightened out his mustache
"My you DO lay a tasty egg my dear", he began, with what he hoped was enough to make a lady swoon--it certainly worked on his mother.
Sometimes she was proud of her egg laying. Other times she was shy about it.
So she slapped him
The sting from the slap vibrated right through his tongue with a zing
"I love you!", he shuddered.
Out popped another egg. She hated it when they popped out just as she was about to speak.
They both dove for it at the same time.
But before either of them could grab it the elf snatched it up
"Curse you both and your blasted egginess!", he roared, which might have been scary if it wasn't unbearably cute to both of them.
And he shoved it down his shirt and patted it in place with satisfaction
"Awwwwww! So cwute!" cooed the girl. "What a funny wittle fella!"
Les Schwabb noticed a bell on the tip of his elf hat and felt his tongue surge with desire
He could barely contain himself, "hey listen babe," he began, his trembling hand reaching for the outraged elf, "let's keep him! I've got tons of room in my freezer for the little guy...", his voice trailed off.
She was smitten the moment she saw him stuff her egg down his shirt. She giggled with delight and just as another egg was about to come out- les shwabb put his mouth on hers and found a new favourite thing
Unfortunately it was too much for the elf and he blew up into a shower of icy sparkles. "So romantic" murmured the girl as Les Shwab nibbled on her egg lovingly
And that was the Christmas that les shwabb and his egg lady started their Christmas tradition of egg nibble-kissing
Sometimes they would freeze the eggs as a special treat for Les Shwab
     
 Les Shwabb's tongue had never been in such a state of elation and he and his egg lady lived a happy and full life together.



3 comments
Sarahstottle posted @ 10:05 AM


Wednesday, November 06, 2013
Busy busy fun fun fun
Well for Halloween I dressed up like a cat with hot pink accents. I went to our tri ward activity dressed up like said cat. It was a hit. The activity, I mean, not necessarily the costume, although that's not to say it wasn't a hit as well. The beginning of the week had me all consumed with the activity, and then the next day was Halloween. It was fun. We went trick or treating with a big group of parents and kids and then went to the bon fire and fireworks that Lake Country puts on. Sloan got tired of walking while we were trick or treating. He's my baby. He's my almost five year old baby. He was hilarious through out the evening. That kid is so full of spunk. I just fall in love with him over and over again. He was a ninja. It was pretty cute. Weapons to go with a costume are very important to him. Adriel was Ironman with his unibeams. He knows the terms and stuff better than I do. I couldn't help it, I just thought he looked so handsome in his costume. And, well, what if he is? Everyday that I pick him up from school I just watch him walk towards my car and feel lucky to have such a sweet handsome boy.  He's so handsome!! I'm sorry, I'm a biased mom, but I can't help it, that's just what I see. I wonder if I would feel that way no matter what my kids looked like. Probably.

I won a diamond necklace!!!!!!

Now Kyle is sick with a man cold. And he has a hard midterm tomorrow. Poor guy. I'm trying to be more thoughtful and kind to him while he's sick. It hasn't been my strong suit. Here's to turning a new leaf...

I feel like there were other things that I wanted to say, but I can't remember what they are at this point.

2 comments
Sarahstottle posted @ 4:28 PM


Monday, October 28, 2013
Monday can be my funday
Today is Monday. Sloan had joyschool. He stayed after joyschool for a play date with his girlfriend Marley. just kidding, she's not his girlfriend, but for some reason since we've moved to Kelowna all Sloan's friends have been girls. That's just what he has. And he likes them. So what can I do? Certainly not complain.

In case you didn't realize, that meant I had the whole day to myself. Woah. It started out with me getting up at 6:30. At this point I didn't have the day to myself. I went outside in the dark and cold and ran hill sprints up my street.  After the recovery from that, I got adriel fed and took him to school. After I dropped Sloan off I went to the dollar store to stalk up on things for our minute to win it Halloween tri ward joint youth activity. We are in charge. I'm spear heading it, and I'm enjoying it. It's gonna be good times. You know, I'm actually a cool fun youth leader, just like I always wanted to be. Who knew I could be? I happen to like teenage girls quite a bit. Then I came home and I basked in the quietness. watched some tv with Mart. Then time to get Adriel. We had some mommy adriel time and then I decided I better clean the house so it didn't look like I was a total lazy butt when I actually had time to accomplish something.

Tonight we carved our pumpkins for Halloween. I feel like being something this year, since we are in charge of the halloween party and all that jazz. But now it's so last minute that I don't know what to be. I was thinking catwoman since it's fairly easy- black leggings, black boots, black top...I just need to figure out eye masky thing and some ears.

1 comments
Sarahstottle posted @ 8:45 PM


Friday, October 25, 2013
There was no school today. I love those days. It means lazier more relaxed mornings. It means someone for Sloan to play with and I like it.

I went to this mother's learning circle thing last night. Every month there is an article that you read, and then it's discussed at the meeting. It was my first time going. The article was really really good. It was about how you are led by three things, your body, your mind and your heart, and how to have a healthy balance. It was very inspiring. The meet was really long. It went on for three hours.  Some of the women are really long winded. I was sort of shy and didn't have a whole lot of perspective to share. I wasn't about to fight for the opportunity to talk, and that's basically what i would have had to do if I wanted to say something because someone was always talking. Martha came too.

I'm debating coloring my hair red. here 
and here are my inspiration.

2 comments
Sarahstottle posted @ 11:23 AM


Wednesday, October 23, 2013
I'm Back
I've been lazy. I've let my life take control of me, if that makes any sense. Its like it has swallowed me up and it's all I can do to just get the bare minimum done.  It may have started when Kyle left, I'm not sure. Maybe it was already happening before that, and him leaving for four months is what pushed me over the edge. Survival mode. Well I'm done with that. I want control back. I want back into the blog world. I want to govern my life.

There are so many ways that I need to grow and improve. Why does change have to be so challenging? Why does it have to feel so impossible?

Being a mother can feel really scary sometimes. I am in charge of shaping these boys. Every thing I do from the way I talk and react teaches them, and shows them things. I am so far from perfect, I can't help but worry about all the things I'm doing to damage them and wreck them. I want them to be great, and I want them to be happy, and good. So much love and yet so much imperfection!!

I don't like coming across as the scatterbrained, leave everything to the last minute, fly by the seat of my pants kind of person.

So, my goal is to take some time out of each day to write a little something on my blog. Doesn't have too be long, or big, or a life update. Just something.

2 comments
Sarahstottle posted @ 1:33 PM


Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Thirty Flirty and Thriving
Here i sit in the last week of my 20s. I feel like it's a big deal that I'm turning 30 this week.  It should be my special celebration, and yet it's the long weekend. Everyone gets to celebrate and have fun. That's not fair. Also, Kyle my number one adoring fan is not going to be here with me. And soon the decade of my 20s will be behind me, and I'm sure there will be times that I wish I was there again, and long to be that young, and alive. So I'm trying to make the most of my last week.   I'm not depressed about turning 30. I've made my peace. I think I look good for 30. And I think the things that I learned an accomplished in my 20s are worth celebrating because they brought me to who I am now, and I like me now. I know I have a long ways to go still too. And I look forward to that adventure. Something that I've really been trying to work on is my self esteem. Feeling like I'm worthy of things, and knowing that I'm beautiful and special because I'm me. And accepting that. And feeling comfortable in my own skin. Seriously, why didn't I try that sooner?  Why has it taken me almost 30 years to get there? I can do incredible things, and I've had to do some really hard things (especially recently) and I'm still alive. I can feel Heavenly Father shaping me into something wonderful and helping me to be a strong woman.  I'm a mother and a wife, and a hair stylist and a soccer player and so many things that make me me, and I want to celebrate!!! So this week, I'm trying to let go, and have fun, and enjoy these moments. It started with a good naked dance session in my bathroom before I had a shower. Because this body isn't going to get any younger... :) Also, isn't this how every day of life should be lived anyway??

4 comments
Sarahstottle posted @ 10:43 AM


Thursday, June 06, 2013
A fub visits
There is a pertuns bertuns at my house even as I write this. She's reading the Host. Maybe because she's bored. She keeps making yummy healthy treats for us, and I ain't complaining. My mother taught me to always be thankful for what you get.

They arrived at 5:20 am on Tuesday morning. I was sleeping, and was suddenly awoken by the doorbell ringing twice. I layed there and stared blankly. Who would ring my doorbell at this time of day? Surely they can't be expecting me to answer. Or was it the kids? Are they up so early and being so naughty already? WHY? Whatever, I'm not getting it. I snuggled in deeper and try to bring sleep back to myself. Then the slow thought dawns on me. Bethany said that they were leaving Monday night...I just never realized that meant that they would be arriving in the wee hours of the morning. I hopped out of bed, threw on my house coat and ran down stairs as quietly as I could to let them in. It was all in vain, and soon we were all awake. Except for Ben who went to sleep on the floor of one of our empty rooms.

Well, since then there has been fun. Bethany took me shopping for my birthday. I got some teal skinny pants. I love all things teal and turquoise. I can't help it. It's the new red for me. Remember how much I loved red? Well I thought that love would last forever. Apparently not. It's not that I don't love red. It's that I don't love it with the same passion I once did. I'm not drawn to everything red. I wasn't expecting this. I was expecting to love red for the rest of my life in that special way.

Today we did Bethany's hair. She's blonde again.

Other than dealing with children and watching chick flicks, we haven't been doing a whole lot. But there's just something about having a sister around that fills me up. I love it. I'm so glad she's here. I should get back to spending time with her. Plus, the lemon squares are ready, so I'm definitely outta here!

3 comments
Sarahstottle posted @ 6:48 PM

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