Monday, January 18, 2010
blaaaaAAAAHHH!!
Sloan poops around 3-4 times a day!! They aren't little ones either, and Sloan fights and squirms the whole time I'm changing him. He hates anything to do with getting dressed, and I hate fighting with him about it.
Adriel will ask me the same question over and over and over when I'm busy doing something else, and when he finally breaks me down and I answer him he'll disagree with the answer and saythat's not what it is. Today he was being naughty in his room with his toys and I told him that if I caught him doing it again I'd take the toy away. He replied that he'd shut the door to his room so I couldn't come in and take it. Where does he get this stuff from?
Today has been one of those days where Adriel has really tried my patience. Kyle is gone all day and evening too. It really makes me look inside and wonder if I'm really cut out to be a mom. What have I gotten myself into? I mean, don't get me wrong, I really love my boys, more than anything, but it takes more than love to be a good mother, I'm afraid. I sit here, at 5:30 in the evening, and I look back at my day and I feel like I let my kids down. What does it say about me when I find out Kyle isn't going to be home until 8- 1/2 an hour before the kids go to bed, and I'm filled with dread about my day? I'm supposed to be happy about being a stay at home mother, with no strict schedule, and endless amounts of time to spend with my children. Sometimes I feel so ungrateful, and yet, I know I'm being ungrateful, and silly but the feeling doesn't go away. And then there's the guilt for feeling that way in the first place. Plus, I'm such a wimp, I only have two kids. There are lots of people with more than that and manage a lot more than I do. There are people who are single and have to do it alone. So why do I think I have it so hard? I don't know. I just have these days where I feel like this, and I wonder what's wrong with me.
ok I should get off before I unleash all the negativity that's building up in me.
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Sarahstottle posted @ 9:20 AM