Thursday, November 26, 2009
I can't let Bethany be disheartened. I must write something.
I've been sick. It started on Tuesday. Wednesday was an ugly ugly day. It's just a really bad head cold. After Adriel finished his nap we went over to Aimee's house so he could play with Nolan. I told him before he went to bed that he could go. I didn't know that I was going to feel increasingly worse. I felt I couldn't cancel on him, so we went. Aimee surprised me with my crib bedding! We had been working on it on and off since May or something... a really long time, and I was starting to feel like it would never be done. I was sort of hoping that she'd just finish it. She's really busy though. anyways. I love it. She took making the blanket into her own hands, which I originally wanted to have some say about, but it had been taking so long, that I didn't even care, especially because what she did ended up being really nice. I'm so excited about it. She made the blanket a duvet cover, and the underside is this soft dark brown fleece. She also gave me the duvet to go inside it. I'll take pictures and post the wonderfulness of it. When I got there, she was finishing up on the blanket, so I just sat and visited. It actually helped take my mind of being so sick because Sloan and Adriel were happily playing and not needing much attention from me. Last night once Kyle was finally home, he helped a lot. He cleaned up the whole house and vacuumed and everything, and took care of the boys.I just don't know how single moms do it. If I hadn't had Kyle's help last night I might have cried.
Kyle only has one more week of classes. Yay! Of course, then he has to study study study for finals, so I'm not sure how much things will change as far as there being more free time to spend with me, Adriel and Sloan goes. It's just the fact that his classes are almost done. Doesn't it at least sound good?
I finally got rid of my N. I don't announce this with great excitement because my test didn't go that well. It was really rainy. I was nervous. When I finished the test, the examiner (a spry leathery -neck-and faced man who probably smokes) was like "that wasn't your best drive, was it?" Instantly my heart sunk and my face started burning, and as he was going through all the things I did wrong all that was going through my head was "I failed. I want to cry. I have to take the stupid test again, which costs 50$ each time you take it, and 100$ is a lot to dish out this time of year for something like that. I'm a failure. I've had my N for almost 10 years and I still failed my road test, how embarrassing..." I nodded and agreed at things he was saying, wanting him to just get to the point and say that I failed and get out of my car (which was acutally Ann's car because I didn't want to drive a standard for the test) so that I could feel bad about it by myself. Things I did wrong are: I was too exaggerated in scanning the intersections, because of the weather conditions I didn't leave enough space between me and the car in front of me (normally it's the two second rule. When it's raining, it's the 4 second rule..) my hands were cemented to the 10 and 2 position, which in his opinion was too stiff and not relaxed, but hey, thats what I thought I was supposed to do, it's not like I actually drive like that all the time! He said "do you always hang on to the steering wheel like you're a startled bird hanging on upside down for dear life?" He told me 4 and 6 were a fine place to hold the steering wheel. I felt small and dumb and like I must really suck at driving. Then he said "So, I should fail you, but I'm not going to." I don't even really know why he passed me and handed me my evaluation sheet.
At the time, I just couldn't feel that happy about it. I went back inside to get my new license registered, and when the people at the counter congratulated me, I didn't feel proud of myself. All I could think of was "it's not like I really passed, I should have failed" One girl even leaned over my evaluation paper and was like "look how good you did too!" all I could see were several angry looking black fine-liner scribbles condemning me from the page. I couldn't even look at if for a few days. Now I'm just glad that I passed. I never have to do it again. I have a full license and I'm happy about that. I know I was nervous and just trying to be extra careful and I don't drive like that all the time. Finally, this morning I actually looked over my evaluation sheet, and I didn't really do much wrong. He probably didn't fail me because he didn't have enough reason to. He just really made me feel like he did. He was kind of mean. Anyways, that's what's been going on with me this week.
Sloan will be 11 months old in two days. It's not fair!!
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Sarahstottle posted @ 3:26 PM
Friday, November 20, 2009
One time I contorted my face so badly that I pulled muscles in my face and neck.
Sloan has been cranky. He's had a runny nose for a long time. I thought maybe he had an ear infection. I held off going to the dr.s right away. The other day, on a particular morning that he crankily wouldn't let me get anything done, I phoned to make an appointment. My doctor wasn't available until next week so I agreed to see another dr. Well, he was a little condescending. He was like "Babies get fussy for a few reasons: 1) They're hungry 2)They need a diaper change 3) They're colicky 4)They're tired 5)They're teething." Hello, I sort of already know that! It turned out his ears weren't infected and he made me feel dumb for coming in at all. I just wanted to check. I wasn't certain. Then as I was leaving he was all "feel free to come back anytime you think something might be wrong." ha whatever. I hate how doctors can make you feel dumb or irrational or delusional. Bullies.
I feel excited about Christmas and I feel like it's way too early. I used to be able to hold off until dec 1, but this year I'm in a Chrismassy mood. Bring on the peppermint and cinnamon smells, bring on the holiday cheer. I'm all for cheeriness. I mean, November is one of my least favourite months of the year- it's pretty dreary, so why not let a little Christmas in, in November? I want to put lights up on our house this year. Mom gave me some outside lights, and Kyle is going to put them up whether he likes it or not. I always wanted to be one of those families that put lights up, pretty ones, at Christmas. It hasn't worked so well thus far. Mostly because of where we've lived. Aparment?- meh. Huge gigantic house where we mostly lived/saw the side of the house, but would have had to put lights all along the front too?-no thanks. Where we live now? Not so bad. It's not our own house or anything but it could do with some Christmas cheer lights, even if it's only on our half of the duplex.
What's weird to me is that we most likely won't be living here at this time next year. What's weird is that I don't even know where we're going to end up. Kyle says he has the highest chance of getting accepted into Calgary, and my only other choice would be UBC. I don't want to move really really far. I know we may end up having to do that though. It's sort of exciting and sort of sad for me. I love Nanaimo, and I'm not ashamed to say it. It's beautiful here. It's the perfect size city for me, not too huge, no bad traffic, but decent malls. I know my way around and where everything is. I have already built up my hair styling network, and would never have a problem getting a job if need be, and I have a few hair dresser friends that trade doing my hair for me doing theirs. My midwives. I love my midwives. They're really special to me. And of course, hello, all my friends and family. Having a free babysitter, having a sister here. I'm so glad that of all the people left here from our family that it's one of my sisters. Katie is definitely one of my best friends.
Ok well now I've gone and made myself feel sad about leaving. That wasn't what I intended. At least if we move to Vancouver it won't be far from Nanaimo, and I can make frequent visits. It's just the end of an era. If we move, I don't know if we'll ever come back. It'll depend of Kyle's ability to get a good job.
Well I get to wake up my kids and pick up Kyle from school and go straight from there to drop the boys off for our date. yay! I love date night.
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Sarahstottle posted @ 7:12 AM
Friday, November 13, 2009
Adriel likes to play hide and go boo
Well here are some Halloween pic-a-loos of my duck and turtle. It was hard for me to get any good ones.
Sloan and Elizabeth played cutely together at the ward trunk or treat party as duck and lamb.
Adriel just kept on giving me goofy poses. It was hard for me to capture the real cuteness on camera.
side view so you can see the shell.
Sloan fell asleep on Kyle while we were doing our mall trick or treating.
It was soooo cute. In fact, before Halloween, I tried the costume on Sloan to make sure it would fit, because Adriel was a lot younger when he wore it. I let him crawl around with the hat on and it was hilarious because his head looked soooo big. He's already top heavy and the added girth the duck hat gave him made his head look ginormous especially in proportion to his body. No one was around to enjoy it but Adriel and I. We had some good laughs though.
Silly goose
After we went trick or treating I took one last shot because of the puffiness his coat added underneath his costume. Taking him trick or treating was so fun. He was so cute, and not shy at all. He helped himself to bowls of candy before the person got a chance to put it in his bag sometimes. He asked one lady about the noise coming from her bushes (she had some motion censored thing in her yard) and she told him someone was hiding in the bushes. He believed her and looked around very carefully. At one house he told the guy that he had a lot of spider webs around his door. And by the end of the night he was getting a little hyper and silly and was saying things like "trick or treat-deet-deet-leet." It was just fun to experience it with him, and I look forward to doing it again next year.
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Sarahstottle posted @ 11:40 AM
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
I have a confession. Until today I thought they were called expressos, even though I've read the word several times, I somehow over looked the non x part of the word. I thought that espressos were a little shot glass of really strong coffee (type of thing), therefore it kicked in faster and was called and express-o. It wasn't until we were going through the Tim Horton's drive through that Kyle started laughing at the way I was saying it. I didn't see what was so funny. I was like "yeah, I said expresso, that's what they are."
My hair is a form of blond, just so you know.
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Sarahstottle posted @ 12:47 PM